Over-parenting, or the “misguided attempt to improve [a] child’s current and future personal and academic success”, is a risk for all parents, and not just parents of children with extra needs. Here’s a teacher’s view on the issue:
We all know parents who won’t let go of their children, and do everything to the child’s benefit, to the detriment of their potential. Children who miss this “education in independence” don’t learn to stand on their own two feet, to take responsibility, to deal with life’s knocks, or to advocate for themselves.
These are vital life-skills for children and students who’re deaf or hard-of-hearing, to have, and/or to acquire, if they haven’t already done so. Team sports, drama auditions and job interviews are all examples of where social and personal resilience can grow in the right conditions – supportive, or not.
So, go ahead. Let your child compete in the big world, and see how they do. You (and they) might be surprised, and find hidden talents along the way.
Parents of children with extra needs want to guard the children from slights, knocks, bullying and actual danger, but balance is needed – otherwise, how are the children to learn self-sufficiency, independence and other life-skills?
Good school-teachers develop their students’ life-skills (manners, respect, responsibility, organisation), but the process should start at home. Schools in the UK, are to actively fill that gap in developing personal resilience in students from disadvantaged backgrounds in a cross-party initiative.
In short, students who experience failure learn the emotional tools needed to recover from personal setbacks. Students who are over-parented (or helicopter-parented) don’t get the space to acquire or to apply these tools to their own life experiences – for their future benefit in life, and in workplaces.
- Learned Helplessness: When Less Help Is More
- What School Teachers Really Want Parents To Know
- Reasons Deaf Children Can Be Reluctant Readers
- Six Ways To Handle Conflicts With Your Child’s School
- The Dicey Parent-Teacher Duet
- Making The Most Of Parent-Teacher Meetings (printable worksheets)
- Helicopter Parenting – When Helping Hurts